Hello again

Well my niece Kirsten just posted on her on blog and it kinda made me think I should update my own. I thought oh I should wait until tomorrow after the scan results but realized I wouldn't really update and just put it off until whatever. Things have been doing ok lately for the most part. Paula is still having headache issues which has caused her to have a hard time doing normal stuff. They have put her on more medications to try and combat that and help her be able to lead a normal life well as normal as she can be. The kids have been great and everyday I learn how good and awesome they are. The seem to prove that one day and counter it the next but I love them and the fact they are willing to try new things. Maddy just finished her spring season of softball and has made some good progress but has alot to learn still. She also is going to Girl's camp this week which doesn't make me to happy cause well that means she is growing up. Nicki has finished her fifth year of dance and seems to like it but says she isn't going to dance anymore but she plans to take more sewing lessons and really enjoys it. She is very meticulous about things looks and without hesitation rip the stitches out and start over to make it look just right. Tommy is turning more into a boy everyday, he is starting to be able to wrestle his older sisters and not just hold his own but starts to get the advantage. He also is waiting patiently to play soccer he played baseball this year but really didn't it enjoy it much. And lastly Callie our little drama queen, she is turning more and more into a little girl and not a baby girl. She is enjoying softball and wants to continue that but I think she really enjoys dance so we will have to wait and see what one she chooses to do. But she enjoys both of them so much. I have been doing pretty good, I have really enjoyed my new position but I enjoy the hours a lot more. I was able to get to almost everything, I think the only things I didn't make it to were games that were being played at the same time. I wish had a few more hobbies to occupy my time but hey you can't like everything.

Things

I have been observing people and watching the things that others go through. I also have seen many sites and families who have talked about others who have many things in their lives that just plain suck. Seeing all this I think no matter how horrible I think things can be in my families life I am better off than a lot of people. I am not just talking about in one area or another. life as a whole. I realized that life is what you make of it your happiness doesn't depend on what you have but depends on how you use them. It reminds of the song lyrics "it's not what you want its wanting what you have." Remember happiness is what you make of what you have.

When will things get normal?

As you can tell from the title things aren't what we were expecting this New Year. Just a month ago we were fully expectin that we would be done with all this crap. But I guess that just shows life is full of the unexpected. Paula's regular oncologist saw on here last scan some things in the brain membrane that she didn't like so they did some more tests and found that she does have some atypical cells in here spinal fluid. She didn't want to start anything until after she had talked with Paula's neuro oncologist which we met with today and he stated there is new growth in her brain. He did say they plan on doing radiation on it but as for the other crap he wants to take it to the tumor board and see what everyone else thinks should be done.
I also have had a realization about my voluntary demotion in the New jail Sgt's are going to have their schedules more restrictive and not a lot of leniency such as being able to break away without any issues. I thought when I did I was doing it more for the kids being able to spend more time with them at night and have a "normal" life but the more we find out about Paula and what possible treatments there can be I think that the move was inspired no I know it was inspired. I will be able to adjust my schedule to fit her schedule. It has helped me relearn we aren't always in control Heavenly Father helps even when we don't ask or expect it.