What to write today?

For the last two weeks I have profiled my two oldest girls. I will profile my other children i just am not sure I will continue it this week. Well I know for sure I am not going to continue it this week. I am going to talk about my wife how we met mushy stuff like that.

Paula and I met in 1993 yeah that is a long time ago, we dated in high school and then went to college, right before we went to college I told her that I was going to marry her and she freaked out. We broke up cause it scared her so bad and she independant and didn't anyone else. That only lasted about a year maybe. We both had dated other people but had not been lucky with our choices they all didn't seem to be the right person. Well during this time I started to go on my mission but was removed from the MTC, I came home from that and I had a decision to make whether to go back or not. At this point I wasn't even sure what I was going to do. But after a couple of months of being home Paula and I got back together. We discussed what should be done, but deep down I knew that I would need to go back just to show that I could do it. So my with my decision made I went back in Aug 97 and came home in well the very end of July it was either July or September. I came home July 28, 1999 Paula and I were married Oct 15, 1999 not long to get reacquainted. I don;t think we needed it, yes we both had changed but the love was still there.

We have been married for 10 years this year and they have been some of the greatest years I have had, we have had trials from almost losing our house to what we are dealing with now with her cancer. It has been tough for us to realize the vast nature of what this really is. We are fighting odds, for the first time in our relationship we have had to face the fact that we don't know if we will be together in five year 10 years we don;t know how long we have. It is one of those things that you realize what things really mean to you. I love my wife I have tried to look down into the future and I can't see my life with out her she has been my best friend for 15 years or so, sorry Keith your a close second just missed it.

Don't take this as a give up letter or anything I am still going to do everything in my power to keep her here, and I know she is the same way it is just one of those things that sometimes you just have to say to make you(me) feel better get it out in the open. I know she will be around for a long awhile, a priesthood blessing has said so, unfortunately the blessing didn't specify whether it would be in this life or not. I have hope that is in this life but I am scared to death of the the other possibilities. Paula is my life, she has brought my four little joys into this life and she is going to be around to help with raising them.

I can;t think of much more to put than Paula I love you and will always be here for you, whether your bald or not, I love you with all my heart.